How two stupid lines screwed up a potentially beautiful shirt...

The actual 09/10 Away Shirt

My version, with the lines removed.

House Damage :: April 13, 2009

Waffles at CNN.com

Atlanta Snow :: March 1, 2009

News of the Absurd :: Episode #075 :: 12/25/08

A Package I Edited: Christmas Jam Turns 20

I'm walking on sunshine.

Several weeks ago, I stopped by my buddy Ryan's house to drop something off. He was sitting on his couch, broken leg propped up on the table, chain-sucking Otter Pops. Naturally, the TV was on, for this is what you do when you've broken your leg hopping a fence after an all-day beer festival.

Though feeling sympathy for his injury, I'll admit that I was slightly jealous of his uber-lazy new-normal. Intrigued, I asked Ryan what he was watching.

"It's Intervention on A&E. You're gonna wanna sit for this one."

It was a repeat... at least for the man who's done nothing but sit on his couch since cracking his tibia and fibula.

So, I plopped down next to him, grabbed an Otter Pop (which, as you'll find out, was humorously appropriate), and soon found myself glued to this hour-long program where, in each episode, some poor, sad bastard is duped into thinking he or she is being filmed for a documentary on addiction, but later learns that the entire thing is a clever ruse to lure them into an intervention. Yes. This is what it's come to.

On this episode, the addict of honor was a girl named Allison, who was tragically hooked on huffing computer dust remover... the spray stuff in a can. Ten cans a day had left her with just slightly more brain cells than the actual cans themselves, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think she had a stroke. I couldn't turn away.

Which brings me to the point of this conversation: Must we feel guilt from being completely enthralled and, perhaps, entertained, by the tragedy gripping this poor girl and her family? I'm not going to lie. I laughed my ass off, only stopping to remind myself that I was going to hell. Luckily, Ryan would be there with me. And, for what it's worth, so will everyone I know who has seen it on TV or on YouTube.

Deep down, without question, I hoped and continue to hope that Allison makes a full recovery and enjoys a healthy, substance-free life. But, as a spectator, I sat on the edge of the couch, anxiously awaiting her next huff and the cartoonishly funny pppppffffffftttttttt of compressed air passing through her drooping, oxygen-starved lips. Again! Again! Again! I was like a child hearing his dad fart for the first time. Again! Again! Again!

Of course, anyone who doesn't feel some level of deep sadness from watching this downward spiral of a human life is likely lacking that special something deep within which prevents us from growing a thumb-sized moustache and killing millions of people. On the other hand, speaking of Germans, we can actually thank our good-humored European friends for allowing us to have a word that enables us to understand our strange amusement at Allison's expense. That word is schadenfreude.

Roughly defined, schadenfreude is pleasure taken from observing the misery of another. So, for those of you who have been feeling guilty about laughing at poor Allison... relax. There's a word for it, so it must be OK. Besides, you're not alone. And, really, you're only laughing at the absurdity of the whole thing... the sound of the air reminds you of a fart (which is ALWAYS funny) and her manic behavior reminds you of the unique human potential to, quite simply, go completely bat-crap crazy.

Yes, we are a rather strange species, so sometimes you just have to sit back, take it all in, and suck down an Otter Pop.

CNN.com NEWS OF THE ABSURD #74

Today's Viral Video

Dec 3, 2008 Boquete

This keyboard sucks, so I will only say that the san blas islands were amazing, boquete is beautiful, and the weather is perfect. more to tell when i get back to states. can´t bother to blog with this keyboard.

November 30, 2008

The rains I had read about weren't exaggerated. I arrived in Panama City to rain and, from travelers in my hostel, listened to tales of endless downpours. But yesterday wasn't bad... had a nice walk-about in the old quarter and pretty much relaxed at the hostel. Lots of people were going out to the clubs, but being that I (a) don't like clubs, (b) didn't feel like wearing shoes and a nice shirt, and (c) was dog tired, I decided to call it an early night in order to have a full day today.

After waking up, I hit up the Balboa Yacht Club to see about getting hired on as a line handler on a sailboat going through the canal. No real luck there. Then, I ventured over to the Flamenco Yacht Club to try the same. This marina, however, was where all the really nice boats come in. Thus, not too many of them need a line handler (as they have their own crews). And speaking of nice boats... lo and behold, right there in the harbor was none other than the Maltese Falcon, the world's largest privately owned yacht. Perhaps you saw the 60 Minutes interview with billionaire venture-capitalist, Tom Perkins, who own the Falcon. Seeing this vessel was an amazing treat for me, as I had just finished his autobiography a couple of weeks ago. The last part of the book tells of the creation of the Falcon.

From there, I went to the Miraflores Locks of the Panama Canal. The museum, there at the locks, was Smithsonian good, and it was nice to get out of the humid heat and into the air conditioning. At around noon, I was able to see my first vessel go through the locks on its way to the Pacific Ocean. It was actually a tiny sailboat, and I was shocked at how much effort went into getting this one boat through the canal. At 3pm I saw a big cruise ship pass through. The canal locks are funny... they are a technological wonder and what they actually do is quite remarkable. But there is no "wow" moment. It's slow. Nevertheless, it's impressive. And having just finished a book on the history of the U.S. getting the rights to the canal, it was cool to finally see the end result of all the political and military madness.

Things are hot in Panama City, and I'm planning to move on tomorrow... either to the San Blas Islands or Boquete. Basically just heading to the airport in the morning and goign to wing it. On that note, I gave up on the idea of getting hired on as a line handler. I was told by a captain at the Balboa Yacht Club that it is easier from the Colon side (read: Carribean side) of the canal, as boaters will go with the trade winds. However, I didn't see too many boats passing through today, so I question the merit of wasting a day going to un-safe Colon for the CHANCE of getting on a boat. With only a week, I'd rather see some of the country and either get in the mountains or capture a sea breeze.

New Hardwoods for the Master Bedroom

BDR :: Old Fourth Ward Block Party :: 10/04/08

ANGEL FROM MONTGOMERY


WAGON WHEEL


I KNOW YOU RIDER


LOVE IN VAIN


FOLSOM PRISON BLUES -> IF I HAD POSSESSION OVER JUDGEMENT DAY


SWEET HOME CHICAGO


WE CAME TO GET DOWN


ME & PAUL


STATESBORO BLUES

This hasn't stopped being funny to me...

[August 15, 2008] The Low Point of the Season?

SNL :: Palin/Clinton

Daily Show - Community Service is SO Lame

The Fish Slap Episode

Daily Show - Funny.

News of the Absurd Challenge